Thank you! ;)
I can’t sleep. I’m feeling pained in my lower back as usual. There’s something inside of me that just wants to eat until I’m filled with satisfaction, but it’s not enough. I’m falling behind in classwork. The weather is too hot. I get anxious. I do my best to motivate myself with exercise (which I’ve been cutting back for a week now) and music (that’s still helping). Watching Netflix has helped keep me busy. I can get irritated easily. There has to be something wrong with me because I even have to a force a smile most of the time. I don’t know what to call what I’m feeling. Do I? Should I? Does it even help to identify what I’m going through? I just want to be happy. I want to cry. I’m always afraid of falling asleep and suddenly someone breaking in into my home. I’m afraid of noises that mislead me to think someone’s there…I’m afraid of being followed in the streets or of someone tracking me from a distance. Paranoia? Depression? Anxiety? Does it matter? It’s all negative to me and it frightens me. I need peace.
Who cares anyways. I’m getting some chocolate…